my life in a grain of sand

Lucie Fri Mar 14 2014, 12:27

My life in a grain of sand.

Small. insignificant. undefined, not unique.
confined and conformed to a state.
One in a bazillion. Lost with the meek
unable to take control of my fate.

the heaviness.. dragging.
suffocating. I fall.
sucked deep to the depths
till i'm nothing at all.

mikeschultz Mon Mar 17 2014, 05:54

Lucie, Wow, Lady, sounds like someone could use a bit of a Spring Break or some such uplifting entertainment. Though, I must say, I like your poem very much. It strikes a chord with me and my current chemo / cancer battle. If I can survive the last two (of 12) chemo treatments, I am pretty assured the cancer will be gone. That is at present one of my most fervent prayers.

So, forgive my personal intrusion, if necessary. If your poem is not as personal as the title indicates, then please forgive me, but if you do not object I will add you to my prayer chain. Insofar as philosophy and phsychological delving is concerned, I've done a bit of study among the Existentialists and found some answers and comfort, not a lot, but some. Sometimes it's mostly up to us to find the questions and form our own answers.

You are, to me, most certaily not "insignificant" as you define yourself well with your poems, and in that ability you are indeed among the unique. Most folks are terrified of the very thought of having to compose a line of prose, and much less poetry. So, I applaud you, my dear.

If I may suggest, a thought just comes to me that perhaps you might rewrite the second verse and see where the first takes you.

Thanks for letting an old dude prattle. I pray you are well and happy, if not now, then soon.

submarine

Mike

Lucie Tue Mar 18 2014, 13:22

Dear Mike .
I am greatly humbled by your comments and I thank you for putting my self pitying prattle into perspective. There are indeed much greater suffering valued reasons to feel woeful.
Note to self: to be more conscious of what and how I write and reserve such momentarily emotions to the scrap papers and not broard cast.

Thank you also for the compliment and encouragement to at least try to put such words to better practice. (Have not thrown a line in ages and probably shows). I to believe we make our own destiny and it is only our willingness to try than sit and wait for something to happen.

I do so very much wish you all the strength and healing that you recover well from the chemo. god bless your positive spirit.
Much love to you, take good care of you x

lu sunny

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