My Aunt

This has been, with out any doubt
the hardest poem to write,
Inner turmoil, mixed up thoughts,
realization that your not here.

I haven't struggled finding words
or revoicing my love of my Aunt,
I've struggled with the realization of,
you are no longer on our earth !

                                   SO

As I'm sitting by the river, alone with all my thoughts
I feel my eyes mist over, feel saddened and distraught
Putting pen to paper, to try and say goodbye
is something never ever did I think of or visualize.

I've pulled out all your letters and some photos too
laid them out in order, from the oldest to the new
tearful as I read them, see my memory of your face
so gentle, mild and beautiful, a figure of such grace.

You were to me, just everything, Aunty, Mum and friend
yes, you could have your moody times, let's be honest, not pretend

I remember being excited, when I knew I was going to stay
with my Uncle and my Aunty, you both made me feel so safe.
High Lanterns, my favorite place, at that time, your family home,
you said I seemed so happy there, watched me play, laugh and roam.

I am extremely privileged, to have had you by my side,
helping me through issues, that should not worry any child,
In later years, my 'adult' years, you were always in my heart,
separated by distance, but, never far apart !

You've always been there for me
turned my tears into a smile,
Even when we left the U.K
to live across the miles.

The warm embrace you gave me
at the airport, long ago,
has stayed with me forever
an embrace, I won't let go !

We've had many, many phone calls
filled with anger, laughter and tears,
especially when the love of your life,
passed away, leaving you with such grief.

A grief no one could help ease you with,
as much as a few of us tried,
we knew your grief was running deep,
inside your soul wretched and cried !

You were an Aunty unlike any other,
had a laugh as wicked as Nans !
a heart that loved true and deeply,
my one true constant, as a child.

My mind so full of questions,
My heart and soul, sooo ache
My ears long, to hear your voice,
so inner silence, it may break !

My hearts not felt this broken
or ached so much before,
I feel as though my ' normality'
has walked right out the door !

I can see the smile on your face,
as the 'normal' word is mentioned,
many a laugh has been pulled from our tears,
saying 'normal' ? 'That's just not us' !

I have this beautiful vision, of you and my Uncle Dunc
sitting in your meadow, with a glow around you both,
holding hands together, reminiscing of the past,
You with a coffee and ciggie, Uncle Dunc with a book and his dog !

I don't want to say goodbye to you
farewell, or anything final !
I'm going to say, with tears in my eyes,
Be happy, Be safe and keep smiling

Please be in my dreams
also in my future
we'll never be apart
for you'll be forever in my heart :heart:



(c) By Sue McDonald.........14/02/2020......

For my beautiful Aunt, life has never be the same, since the day you went away !