11-15 Nursery Nasties

Nursery Nasties


Please add to this and see how far it can go

Now this is the tale of Little Bo Peep,
(not a story for children to aid them to sleep!)
NO..this pretty-faced minx, such a careless young vixen,
went missing herself half the time-twas the boy's she was mixin'-
with. A'romping and rolling around in the hay
And its just how this story began, on this day..
For Little Boy Blue (- such an apt little name)
came along with his horn, ( now imagine their game!)
.........

tis NOT reeaaaalllllllly saucy, so lets see where it leads...... ok just kidding!

Bo Peep was a beauty with long wavy hair
All Boy Blue could do was stand there and stare
Till he plucked up the courage to utter a word
He said "Boy you're a stunner a real show stopping bird"
She lifted her skirt as a bit of a tease
But refused to do more than uncover her knees
Her mother had said "You should not raise your skirt
it is not lady like if you act like a flirt"

Little Bo-peep gave up on her sheep
And decided to look for a Beau
But shocked by the antics
of men --- became frantic
And back to her sheep, she did go.

Little Bo Peep



In a far away place, stood a girl in disgrace
With a crook in her hand, she did worry
For her flock had gone missing
And now she was wishing
She’d not taken the sheep to the quarry.

So she climbed a big tree, (very silly to me)
In the hope that she’d spy them up yonder
For it was quite a shock
To lose her great flock
For her sheep, Bo could not have been fonder.

Well the story of Bo, is a strange one you know
It’s been told many different ways
I’m sure you’ll agree
That by climbing a tree
Didn’t help, ( she was stuck there for days! )

Now while in this plight, the poor little mite
Was left high and dry and to ponder
What to do next
She was feeling quite vexed
When all of a sudden heard ‘thunder!’

A stampede of sheep did startle Bo-Peep
A rumble of hoof did she spy
It was hard to make out
Should she scream or just shout
Or should she lay down and just die

Quick thinking, she took, a hold of her crook
And tripped up the sheps,one by one
What had she to lose
( Except one of her shoes )
And soon all her troubles were done.

So endeth this story, of Peep and her glory
No more will her flock run away
She shackled them tight
To each other that night
For fear that the critters would stray


©jinettyx2011

Numpty Dumpty



Now I’m not one to judge a bloke
Who, says I, ‘not tall’
Suffice to say, his girth is…well,
His girth is not so small

A cocky chap, I have to say
Albeit willy-nilly
Took to sitting on very high walls
Now, don’t you think that’s silly?

One day whilst sitting on said ledge
To view a greener meadow
Slipped right off and broke his head
Such a stupid fellow!

The palace heard of this chaps plight
And the guards were sent in haste
To try to mend the fellows head
Which in truth was such a waste!

They tried to mend his head with glue
But that was time consuming
So back toward the palace went
And left the poor chap fuming

They tried to mend his head with string
And ended up in knots
His ears were put where his nose should be
And his nose where it should not

Well Numpty had enough of this
Those silly guards, thought he
Were making him look ridiculous
Trying to find a remedy

Well the guards were running out of ways
To make the fellow well
They were trying ways of this and that
But in the end did fail

So after a lot of deliberation
One man had a plan
They hit Numpty with a shovel
And they threw him in the pan

Scrambled egg at the palace
Was the breakfast of the day
Accompanied with bacon
Yumm Yumm I heard them say!




©jinetty2011

Looks like you are having fun with this one

Yup Peter......I'm all for having a bit of fun..!!!

Loved your poem by the way....very good!!!

Lil' Jack Horner


Little Jack Horner sat in the corner,
( No. He ate all the pie last week.)
But his pink little digit was itching to fidget
straight up his nose, for a tweak.

So happily picking, and rolling n'flicking
Sat Jack, digging deeper within,
Till his eyeballs pulled through(with his brains in a stew)
-his left nostril, to rest on his chin!

Lil Red Riding Crook!!!!



I guess it isn't right to say
But WHO? wears red-hooded cloaks today?
And reeeeeaaally, it comes as no surprise,
That she was spotted, by the eyes..
Of Mr Wolf amidst the tree's,
Oh, clashy! get the fashion police, ...please!!
Which has to prove my second thought,
That Miss Hood, was not of mind..or sorts,
For most know woods are not the place
For wreckless walks at dally pace.
......( continued nxt wk..)

Cinders



I suppose you think you know it well,
The tale of the Mademoiselle.
Where, she is sent to live a life,
With two ugly sisters, of her father's wife.
To which she has to work and slave
Her beautiful bones to an early grave.

Alas. I fear this story's tainted
Tis' not the picture I was painted.
The widowed father- poor and broke,
Remarried a dame days before he choked
and in ensuring his child inherited riches
swapped attire for dresses n skirts ( throwing the breeches)

It's assumed that poor 'Cindy' was locked away
( not, shy and withdrawn and had nothing to say.)
........

The Gingerbread Man



In a cosy little wooden house
Lived a farmer, his wife and a small door mouse.
And on this summers day of heat
The farmer's wife made a special treat.

With flour, sugar and some free-range eggs
She made his head, two arms and legs.
Two raisen eyes and a cherry nose,
With gum-drop buttons to his toes.

The 'Finest' Gingerbreaded man
Home-baked to give a golden tan.
But as she checked if he was done,
Up, the little buggar run!
Out the oven and across the floor
Kicking the mouse as he whizzed out the door.

So whipping her pinny off and slapping her hubby,
"Get after him luv,wotcha waiting for, Chubby!!"
"Yer supper has lept and is crossing the yard,
Go chase 'im-be quick!- ya great lump o'lard!"

This sewer-mouthed wife and her husband took chase
for the Gingerbread man, twas a 'in -the-bag' race.
Then along came a cow wanting something to munch
And the gingerbread man sure looked good f'his lunch..

Then passing a horse , sooo fed up with his hay
"ride on my back" he said with a neigh,
"Do you think i'm half-baked?!" replied the Gingerbread man
" I can run faster-catch me if you can!"

The cheaky young chappy, so quick with his jip
was speeding towards a river- to slip
then along came a fox with cunning short plan
slipped into the water and towards him he swam

"let me offer my service to free you from harm"
said the fox to the gingerbread at the edge of the farm.
"but surely , you'll eat me " he said with a wail
"Not" replied fox, " if you jump on my tail"

So he lept on his tail, looking back with a smirk
He thought he's been clever, but he acted beserk
For the water got deeper,Gingers feet would get wet
"then jump on my back" said the fox"No need to fret

with nowhere to run What was Ginger to do?
............( to be continued....Ha ha )

Continued from: The Ginger Bread Man

With nowhere to run What was Ginger to do?
but climb foxy's back as the foxy flew!
over hill over dell, past shed and shack -
the wee little cakeman held tight foxy's back.
Then all at once foxy shoved on the brakes
and wee little cakeman soared or' with the shakes
and fell to the ground in a heap a crumbs -
his feet in a jumble, his head quite numb . . .

continue please:-)

bev

Wonderful idea Lucie! Wonderfully cute writing too . . . tops, tops in prompts!

Noodles cookin' everyone? Nursery Rhymes are really easy with mostly A/B C/D rhyme patterns. Give it a try Fred, Cheryl, Dori, Rich . . . and the rest of you poets with the mostest:-)

Awesome Bev well done ...I love it !

Thank you Susie . . . now you?

Humpty Dumpty

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
Now all the Kings Soldiers and More
Were not able to do anymore
For the Health and Safety chaps
Did say that Humpty was to stay
A broken Humpty Dumpty
So all the Kings Men did but do
Repair the wall instead
And poor old Humpty
Went off to hospital instead.

Good one Rich! Thanks for contributing:-)

Ok ! Here I go.....hope it sort of makes sence ! Then again what Nursery Ryhme does ? !

Mary Mary quite contrarily
sat on Miss Muffits tuffit,
with her silver bells and smelly cockle shells
Miss Muffit did nothing about it.

Little Jack Horner sat in his corner
watching the two have a tiff,
as little Boy Blue, his finger in glue says,
Tommy Tucker, would sing NO cool tune.

Sing a Song of Sixpence
rang from Little Bo Peep,
as she Rode the Cock-Horse
from Banbury Cross,
to find her poor lost sheep.

Simple Simon, who met a pieman
said he had seen some lamb,
they were with Baa baa black sheep
and were walking down a lane.

Tom Tom the Pipers son,
who stole the pig and away did run,
Ran into Pussy Cat, Pussy Cat
and said where have you been ?

She said I've been to London
to visit the Queen, saw Georgie Porgie
who they say is shy,
he kissed the girls and made them cry.

Bo Peep saw Jack and Jill
climb their weary old hill,
then come tumbling down
as she ran to them with a frown.

She called Dr Foster,
who came over from Gloucester,
with Three men in a Rub-a-Dub-Tub
they all went to the same little club.

The Butcher, The Baker and Candlestick maker,
had tea with the Ole Queen of Hearts,
she made some yummy jam tarts,
then Old King Cole happily played a small part....

When they danced and sang Ring-a-Rose,
they rock-a-byed baby so cosie,
high up on the tree top
where the wind blew and cradle would rock.

Three Blind Mice sat under the tree
singing songs in sweet harmony
Twinkle Twinkle went the stars in the sky
Cry Baby Bunting fell asleep with a sigh !



© by Sue McDonald .........19/11/11

Ahhhh Sue...that was soooo cute!! Very well done! Excellent!

Very nice sue! Sort of a mix up of many:-) I likes it!

Hugs, bev

well done everyone! These a far better than the originals..think we should print them:D
sorry not contributed..amazed I got on this s'morning..
Love 'em - keep it up xx

Hickory Pickory Plock

Hickory, Pickory, Plock,
The clock run up the mouse.
The mouse struck squeakily squeak,
The Clock went all tickety tock,
Well it was on One O’clock.
The Clock run down the mouse
The Hickory did pickled de plonk
And now you know the truth of the,
Hickory, Pickory, Plock.

I'm guessing that's the Irish version Mr.O.........Lol!